Save Me From The Storm by Holly Louise

Author:Holly Louise [Louise, Holly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-09-17T16:00:00+00:00

25

SAD FOREVER BY LAUV

Avalon

Sometimes, I think about what it would be like to never wake up again. I wonder how you’d know that you hadn’t. After all, the only way to be completely certain that you’ve been asleep at all is to wake up. If you don’t, how would you know whatever you’re dreaming about isn’t reality? How do we know that anyway? What if the reason we all have to sleep is because what we consider to be living is the nightmare and what we consider to be sleeping is really our only way to escape it before it kills us?

That’s a strange thought to contemplate. That everything we think we know might not even be real. It’s a frightening notion, but I also find it sort of comforting, in a weird way. If nothing is as we believe it to be, then none of it matters the way we pretend it does. It’s all obsolete in the grand scheme of whatever the bigger picture of the world is, a brief moment in time that no one will remember after it ends.

The universe is infinite. People aren’t.

I wonder if what’s in us can be though. If maybe sometimes there’s something so profound, so absolutely right that even death can’t take it, not completely. That in this lifetime, the next and the one after that—whatever that means—everything that’s meant to will find its place exactly where it should be.

Before, I didn’t believe in that. Or when I did stop to consider the thought that maybe fate is real and everything happens because some higher power decides it’s supposed to, I came to the conclusion that destiny is a bitch with a cruel sense of humour.

But after last night, after kissing Dustin and having something fundamental and unexplainable shift with it, after talking to him for hours, dancing in the rain after the storm like something out of the romance novels I used to love to read and having him walk me back to my cabin just before the sky began to lighten again, I’m questioning my feelings on that.

I’m also questioning what I’m supposed to do with the answers.

Dustin makes things seem like they do mean something. That it’s not all stardust and particles lost in the sea of blackness that is space and time. The world looks different when I’m with him.

It’s when I’m not that’s the problem.

He’s become a light for me—a light I didn’t think was possible to find in my life anymore. But then when he’s not around, everything that was already dark becomes an empty abyss because now I know there’s better. I felt better. Which makes everything bad feel even worse in comparison.

That’s not how things are meant to go, I know that. But what I don’t know is how to fix it. I don’t know how to make everything else other than Dustin seem good again. I don’t know how to shift my perspective on the world and having to deal with all that comes with living in it as it is.

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